This post was written by admin on May 16, 2008
Posted Under: Jokes Riddles

Maverick asked:


A man and his neighbor were heading out to their local golf course for a game on a sunny afternoon. The man arrived at the course, but he was waiting for quite a while, as his neighbor hadn’t turned up yet. Then he noticed a chap, a good acquaintance of his, carrying a golf bag walking there and waving “Hi”. The man called out to him,

MAN: Would you like to join me for a game?

CHAP: Sure, I’ll be glad to join you.

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the chap. Part way around the course, the man asks the chap,

MAN: What do you do for a living?

CHAP: I’m a hit man.

MAN: You’re joking!

CHAP: No, I’m not,

The chap reaches out into his golf bag, and pulls out a beautiful Martini sniper’s rifle with a large telescopic sight.

CHAP: Here are my tools.

MAN: That’s a beautiful telescopic sight; can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.

(contd. below…)
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

MAN: Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. I can see my wife in the bedroom. Haha, I can see she’s naked! But, wait a minute, I can see my neighbor as well, and what’s he doing in there…He’s naked as well! The b****!

MAN: (turning to the chap) How much do you charge for a hit?

CHAP: I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.

MAN: Can you do two for me now?

CHAP: Sure, what do you want?

MAN: First, shoot my wife; she’s always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then my neighbor, just shoot his **** off to teach him a lesson.

The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

MAN: Are you going to do it or not?”

CHAP: Just wait a moment, be patient, I think I can save you a thousand dollars here…

Tags: Acquaintance, Local Golf, Neighbor